yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
