my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
