I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
