Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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