hell yes lets make some ravioli
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
