yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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