haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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