i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
