what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
