I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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