I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
