I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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