is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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