ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
