She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
