I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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