But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
