One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
