Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
