the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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