Moan for me like Helen Keller
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
