we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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