Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
