As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
