He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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