Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
