We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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