How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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