Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
