So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
