I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
