Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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