So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm really busy with my period
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