i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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