You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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