Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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