He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
