so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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