i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
