The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
