He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
