Already got asked if we're dating
Its about making memories worth repressing
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
