im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
