That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
