I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
