I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
