told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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