i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
