its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
