Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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