i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
