Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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